Pain

Sorry for the stream of consciousness posts. If you're reading this, I hope it makes sense.

Hating a diagnosis where they're like "dont know what causes it. don't know how to fix it. just keep the pain down" and then the pain isn't going down. It's now moved from foot to ankle, which might be progress. I've missed two days of work (unacceptable) and the prospects of being able to walk on Monday don't look good. I'm going in anyway. There's too much to do and too much still hanging in the balance. I hate missing work. I hate feeling this way.

Had a little bit of a breakdown this morning. Had to take a shower; just felt so grimy. But that's pain added to pain. Took two pills against my better judgment. Will admit it took the pain away, and now I am nice and warm downstairs. Hair is sticking to my face now. No moisturizer, so my face is cracky and ashy. Feeling so beautiful today. So sorry for myself. So pitiful. Wah.

Too many responsibilities crashing in on me. I remember this pain from several years ago and how I felt helpless. I remember choosing a life verse while in the shower: Isaiah 40:31. I claimed renewed strength. I took "wait" as literal. I claim that verse still. Perseverance. I'm not asking for perfect, even though I strive for it. I don't think happiness and contentment require perfection.

Hubby is doing a great job as nursemaid. Hasn't complained once and has helped keep my spirits up. He has no idea how to comfort me, and I have no idea what to tell him. He remembers how he felt when the roles were reversed. I love him for that. When this is done, I'll get him a card or something as thanks. He loves cards as a surprise. I love that he loves such simple things. Yes, sometimes simple is more charming than irritating. I love him.

In Love With Fall

As I recuperate from injury
Alone in the house
Dark skies from approaching storms
Satisfied from dinner
Warm from painkillers
I think about fall

It's like God is resting
After toiling outside all day
Hot and sweaty and covered in grime
Then taking a long swig of sweet tea
To cool off His body and His thoughts
And take a long breath

Kids are selling cookie dough
Football players are in high spirits
America is honoring its veterans
The air conditioner is resting
And I'm thinking about soup
The weather is cool

Crisp air and long sleeves make me happy
Dog is ready to play at the park
Anticipation of all the best holidays
And social calendars start to fill up
Winter is beautiful under a blanket of snow
But fall is my favorite

I Write, You Read, We Smile

[[Disclaimer: I'm on painkillers, so no guarantees about coherence or eloquence. I hope I get my point across.]]

My boss told me a story earlier this week about two very unique young women who became friends in high school and, after graduation, kept in touch. What's unique? Their preferred method of communication is not texting, Facebook, or even email. It is writing. These two young ladies, who are my new inspirations, are corresponding via snail mail by writing real letters to each other.

This same boss, who's a pretty well-read guy, shared an article with me earlier in the month. I fell in love with the concept of creating notecards and actually using them (and immediately became jealous of this woman who owns an actual letterpress and knows how to use it). Slightly off topic: Don't be surprised if you receive a little note card from me, just because. However, if you want one, make sure I have your address. Handmade cards will become more common after I regain the use of the room I use as an office and uncover my craft stuff from the piles in the garage.

And, somewhere in the back of my memory bank, is a vision of my friend Martha lamenting the loss of letter-writing as an art. Martha, who is an Altrusan like me, is passionate about the cause of erasing illiteracy.

And so, my point. You knew I'd get to it, right?

Why not create a program to teach young girls the fading but forever elegant art of letter writing? Entice them with a card-decorating class, and end with a charming story that encourages them to write and mail their cards ... just because. I'm a firm believer in the power of one becoming exponentially influential, and I think this could take off. I'm working through formalizing this idea. What do you think?