Into the Light

When your doctor looks you in the eye, wishes you a happy 40th birthday, and tells you you're probably going to die soon, you tend to respond with a range of emotions.


First, you change your life. There is no choice, no rationalizing. So, that's that.


Second, you wonder if it's too late, and you start thinking about what will happen if you die before you can save yourself, which leads to late-night speculation about your first day in the afterlife ... heaven.


I imagine waking up in heaven will be a lot like when I was a kid and Daddy would come flip on my light to wake me up. It's a jolt at first, but you soon realize it's the dawn of another great day. The light is blinding, though, so you scrunch up your face and rub your eyes a little. Slowly, you start to register a few shapes and sounds and smells.


When I was a kid, early morning stimuli included the smell of mom's coffee, sounds of John Denver blaring from the guest bedroom, and always, Daddy rustling the newspaper at the kitchen table. When I wake up in heaven, I'll have to acclimate to the light, but I imagine Daddy will be the one who greets me. He'll bring friends, of course, but he'll know I will want to savor the moment, so the others will come slowly.


Daddy and I will take a walk along a beach in heaven, holding hands like we did when I was a kid, splashing in the surf and chatting a little about what's to be expected, and all of a sudden I'll have enough clarity to notice that Daddy is a young man. His hair is black--not the silver I will always remember--but his eyes are just as cornflower blue and his grin is just the same. I stop for a second, and he smiles at me and tells me that I, too, have received a glorified body and will never have a health problem again. Finally, what has eluded me on Earth has been freely received. My heart sings.


All at once I feel like we're not alone on this beach, and I hear little feet trodding along just behind us. Gigi. There's my girl. While on Earth, I always wondered what she was thinking. Here in heaven, I just know. I spend a while just loving on my puppy I missed so much. She loves me and I love her, and we'll be together forever in the house our Father has prepared for us.


And then, right there on the beach, my whole life personified comes to greet me. Grandparents, friends, and maybe even a child or two I never had on Earth come forward to say hello. And finally, Jesus. He'll share with me my lifetime of triumphs and missteps, and I will feel love like I never have before. And I hope to hear, at long last, his welcome into the kingdom of heaven: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."