Super (Dumb) Boys

I can't hear myself think. The Super Bowl is only a quarter gone, and already the boys have discussed the following, mainly while I was missing the commercials because they feel they must each speak louder than the other. Some of these are too good to miss.

• "I don't like the cheese dip. I also don't like Christina Aguilera."
• "Son, go to your room." "No." "OK."
• "Noah can't let Macy out of the box because she will bark, because she thinks Noah is a dog."
• "Scott's reaching into his crapper nuts."
• "Who bowls on Friday?"
• "If you go to Michigan, you get the Heisman. It's that simple."
• "What else has Paul Walker been in?"
• "OMG, Cowboys vs. Aliens. AWESOME!"
• "No frickin way that was Joan Rivers' body."
• "Budweiser's been around for, like, 300 years."
• "Do you just talk to hear yourself talk, or what?" "You're talking right now." "So."

They're so good, in fact, that I will just keep a running list, at least until my typing fingers get tired. Here goes. I wish I had a video camera.

• "Where's your monkey?"
• "Macy could be Daddy's girlfriend." "Macy's too old for Daddy."
• "No, it's the Super Bowl, so you gotta play hurt."
• "Noah, settle down with the dog so it won't vomit on you."
• "Noah, come on, go in the box."
• "Who's got a job interview tomorrow at 10:30?"
• "Beth's over there editing the Boy Scout pamphlet." "Beth, why are you working?" "BETH! Go clean up the kitchen." "[Editorial license not to print what was said next. If you know me, you know what I said. And no, I wasn't working. I was typing every stupid thing that came out of his mouth.]"
• "Gonna snow up in here!" "Not in the living room." "Yeah, take it outside."
• "Tuesday and Wednesday, gonna be rough. Snowy ice."
• "Can I go to the park?" "Son, it's dark." "I know." "No." "Please?"
• "I was hoping to drink enough to pass out tonight."
• "Beth's already quit drinking." "I know!" "Did you ask her why yet?"
• "Ben's like, 'Man! That's what I get for riding a motorcycle without a helmet.'"
• "I'm mad at you because you ate the last cheese in the refrigerator."
• "Hi, Yoda!"
• "Beth's rubbing her eyes. Do you think we're getting on her nerves yet?"
• "Let's play the quiet game." "I won."
• "Mama's gettin' tired already. Gol-ly! She's got school tomorrow."
• "Captain America, the Incredible Hulk, and Thor. They should all make a movie together."
• "'Glee' is so dumb."
• "I think Aaron Rogers got hurt on the sideline, drinking some Gatorade."
• "What?! I did not say you could take a picture of me eating."
• "Can Macy ever ..." "No."
• "This is definitely a touchdown."
• "If you have 50 beers and 50 Dr Peppers, which would you drink?" "I don't know, buddy, but sometimes you just don't need to talk."
• "Macy, Macy Gray!"
• "Git 'em! Now git 'em! I said git 'em!"
• "All I know is these right here, these chocolate ones, they are awesome."
• "Wow. That guy is good. He should play in the Super Bowl." "He is." "Oh."
• "That's what I'm trying to do! And I need to doo-doo." "I DO need to doo-doo. Do you?"
• "All right! Here comes the Black-Eyed Peas!"
• "What the hell are you doing, Noah? Go to your room. Get ready for school tomorrow."

And that was just the first half. I'm going to bed.