Poop. Then Happy Poop!

So, it was back to bowling on Thursday nights tonight. Before Christmas, I'd been bowling pretty well above my average, and my average in that league had gotten pretty good (for me). Tonight, I was pathetic. My excuse was that I (very literally; this is the truth) am seeing cross-eyed a little and it's hard to focus on my mark. So I was inconsistent at best. In fact, in the third game I scored a little score (literally little) I like to call ... 98. Stellar. I'm a clutch pitcher and a clutch pitcher, but I'll let you know here and now that you do NOT want me in a clutch situation on your bowling team.

So that was the poop.

Then the happy poop came when I got home! I won something on ebay (you don't ever really WIN, right? you still have to pay for it...) and it arrived! Here's a picture. It's "Rimpy's Bakery," the LAST piece I needed of the North Pole series to have a complete "NORTH POLE." See how there's a little "R" in the wreath on the front? If you line them all up, say, on your mantle, they spell NORTH POLE! I fell in love instantly. And for several years I have just had NO TH POLE. Next year we will be complete.

It takes very little to amuse me.

BTW, my feet stink right now. I cannot begin to tell you. Macy's cold nose is sniffing all around. I love to be home.

Smiling Dogs

On my way home from work today, I saw a golden retriever walking his human. Each had a huge grin on his face. It was great, and it made me feel all happy inside. I'm a dog person, you know.

Macy, my own mutt, was happy to see me when I got home today. She'd gotten used to me being around, and she probably had to pee. Eh, that's what us humans are for.

And, good gracious, this girl can sing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0. Go buy her album. Buy all her albums she puts out in her whole life. Blast them from your iPod, your car stereo, your laptop. Scream her lyrics from the top of your lungs. And think of me. I told you to do it.

Be sure to listen to this one loud, too. Sometimes us girls just gotta sing.

"Don't You Remember"

When will I see you again?

You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,

No final kiss to seal any seams,

I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,

And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?

Don't you remember?

The reason you loved me before,

Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?

Or have you completely erased me from your memory?

I often think about where I went wrong,

The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,

And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?

Don't you remember?

The reason you loved me before,

Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,

I kept my distance so you would be free,

And hope that you find the missing piece,

To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?

Don't you remember?

The reason you loved me before,

Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?

Vacation Finale

Today was the last day of my vacation. Dammit.

I made the most of it, though, by visiting my Mimi and making chicken spaghetti for dinner. I enjoyed my visit so much; I love hearing about what she did when she was younger that is so much like the things I do today. I also love talking about people I have held dear since birth, including my Daddy and Granddaddy. It was also my first trip to her new place, which I must say is awesome. She has plenty of room for her stuff, although there wasn't as much of it there as I'd have liked. We spent a little time talking about the treasures I get to keep that remind me of her and of my childhood, like the ceramic doggies that always sat on the shelf above Granddaddy's chair. I don't even particularly like them--they just set a scene in my mind. It's of a time when everything was right with the world.

Anyway, back to vacation. I didn't do what I intended to do, mostly because Scott's work schedule got all screwed up the last week of the year and ruined my plans. But no fear: I work the rest of this week and all of next week, then I am off the following week! Adventure awaits.

HNY, LOL

Happy new year and all that. I slept until noon, which is a rarity for me, and paid for it with a painful eye and some really weird dreams. They're worth mentioning.

The first dream involved my high school friend Peggy and her mom bringing over food. Lots of food. Scads of food. All gourmet finger foods and all delicious! All my high school girlfriends came over to try out all the food, which as it turns out, was sampling for my upcoming wedding, which Peg and her mom were planning to cater. Good times. Where were the guys? Outside playing softball. I took a little jaunt out there to see my pals and saw a lot of folks I recognized, some I didn't but still knew, and just a few no-namers. Cool.

The second dream was a bit of a continuation of the first. I was walking along the creek that ran along the back side of our house. On the other side of the creek were many apartments, some of which had been destroyed by water or fire. I gawked, then I turned to my left and saw some double doors, which in dreamland I recognized as my own house. I walked in. The foyer was large, and there were doors to two wings, one on each side. On the right was the "XXXXXXXX" wing (some guy's name I don't remember), and on the left was the "ROBERT RASH" wing. For those of you who don't know, Robert Rash is my dad (and granddaddy, but in dreamland you just know things, and this was Daddy). In the rooms I found all kinds of things, from all the clothes I had worn and discarded all my life, to Daddy's desk. It was like an antiques store met a museum. Interesting. I just walked around discovering things for a while, loving it. The director lady showed up and I asked her if I could just have some of the things (after all, it IS my stuff), and she was pretty noncommittal. In dreamland, I understood that these things were no longer mine because I had given them up. There was a price to get them back, and I don't think it was money.

So, all you budding Freuds out there, analyze that.

Last Night of 2011

Good bye, crappy year. I am thrilled to be ushering in a new 366-day annum with very good friends, food, and drinks. And then tomorrow, we start ORGANIZING! (That still means cleaning the garage first.)

While 2011 was a craptastic year (thank you to one of our contractors for introducing me to that great "word"), I did learn a few things through the pain.

1. Not everybody recognizes my greatness and potential.
2. Those people don't deserve the respect I've been giving them.
3. When your faith is strong, the devil fights you harder.
4. People to whom you've freely given respect in the past might not have been deserving of it. (This actually is different from No. 2.)
5. Dolphins are beautiful up close, but I'd rather they were free.
6. Don't plan stuff unless you're OK with nobody showing up.
7. Sometimes, but not too terribly often, "no second chances" needs an exception.
8. Macy can't replace Gigi, but she's just as precious.
9. Doctors are real people, too, and should not be taken at face value.
10. Sometimes you've just stuck your foot in too deep and your shoe will never come clean.

Here's to a better 2012. Scott bought me a Wizard of Oz desk calendar (original Denslow illustrations ... suitable for framing!) today at B&N. I love new calendars!

Good Riddance, 2011

Two days left. Lasagna meat sauce on the stove, hubby sleeping in the recliner, daytime TV on the tube, and I'm just as happy as a clam to be bidding adieu to the second worse year of my life. I won't go into the reasons, but they were numerous. But why be a downer?

2012 will be better because I will make it so. Plans are in the works. Positive attitude carries over from the last part of 2011, peppered with exercises to make both heart and mind healthier, and I'll be one happy little camper.

This post sucks because I'm not really inspired today, but look for something from me more often. I won't commit to a post a day, but I'll try to put something out there, because as my little notebook says, "If you want to be a writer, write!"

Free

I am home. Hubby is bowling. And houseguests are ... gone. Two empty rooms. Macy is confused, but she will be fine.

I will be fantastic.

I've spent the evening dancing in the living room, cleaning a little (the real work starts tomorrow), and watching Food Network--in my underwear and a T-shirt. Because I can. I feel like I have a new lease on life (OK, that's a tired phrase, but it fits). While I can tell you to your face that I have felt like a prisoner in my own home, it's a different animal all together to experience the freedom again. Possibilities and hope lay in front of me like the yellow brick road. Getting my life back is like taking that first dive into the pool's cool water every summer. Emerging from the water, you're clean, refreshed, and ready to enjoy.

That's me.